Yet swerve he did NOT, and put his arms around me, and kissed me like Bogart kissed Bergman in Casablanca.
Yipes.
Careful to keep my New York cool, I then shook his hand and said:
“How do you do? I’m Elizabeth. And your name is?”
Posts Tagged as ‘guitar’
November 1, 2009
French Kiss First, Introductions Later.
Filed under America, confidence, family, humor, life, love, people, relationships, reporting, satire, self-image, work
Tags: alien from space, America, animatronic, attraction, author intrusion, basic intelligence, Bergman, big fat wet sloppy kiss, blob of goo, bluff, Bogart, boldly, Californunauts, Captain Obvious, Casablanca, charming, Closely-Guarded Girl Manual, confidence, contact, cool, Cosmic Galactic Nexus of Belevolence, dares, deliciously humid, Disneyland, disreputable, Dixie, earth, egomaniacal, equator, extraterrestrials, flipside of mainland America, flung itself, foreclosures, Georgia, gobsmackingly realistic, guitar, happen to be reading this, head west, Hollywood, humor, impulsive redheads., Invader Zim, inviting to strangers, Ira Levin, kind soul in a cold-hearted world, life, lost your faith in humanity, Mass media, movies, nerve, New York cool, oncoming car, opportunity, Oscar, Oscar Wilde, outside world, play chicken, positive, regurgitate cliches, research dart, satire, scary, silly, steal kisses, stupid, suck you so hard, sunny, swelling orchestra strings, swerve, symbolic, television, The Secret, The Secret Closely-Guarded Girl Manual, The Stepford Wives, the Sun, tirade, tomboy, twelve inches, unemployment, USA, weird, Welcome to California, whistling Dixie, Yipes
March 2, 2009
Brainbone: Am I the monkey at the monolith?
Yet another reason I get a frisson of horror whenever Facebook’s Brainbone application asks me if I want to show my Brainbone stats on Twitter, or my web site, or anywhere public at all.
Show my Brainbone stats? Are you kidding? Why not also show my weight? And record me Confessing my sins to my local parish priest, while I’m at it, as a global podcast?
Filed under confidence, humor, life, satire, self-image, technology
Tags: bitchy popular girls, Bless me Father, Boo-yeah, bookbag, Brainbone, comfortable, confession, cool and smart, deeply internalized, dorky, exuberant, facebook, failing, First Holy Communion, for I have sinned, frisson of horror, ground-bound dart, guitar, hideously embarrassed, ignored, keyboards, kneesocks, label adhesive, labels, laughter, life, love-hate relationship, middle school, musical, parents, parish priest, passing grade, percentages, piano, pretty, quiet, random, random celebrity, relentlessly, retarded, sailing like a cannon, skinny, stats, stumbling, stupid, swagger, talent, The Pretty one, The Quiet One, The Smart One, throwing dice, Timbuktu, Twitter, uncomplicated, ungracefully, untidy living room, web site, would you jump off the Empire State Building
April 30, 2008
Embarrassment? I’m Bulletproof.
Now: I, my own self, am nearly impossible to embarrass, being a rather outspoken, outgoing sort. (Anyone who sings in public doesn’t exactly have a low embarrassment threshold.) But one does have to remember what it’s like to NOT be a grownup.
Filed under confidence, family, humor, life, satire, self-image
Tags: chicken nuggets, children, concert, confidence, conventional, cookie-cutter, dancing, daughters, Elizabeth Williams Bushey, embarrassment, family, grownups, guitar, humor, interesting people, kids, life, McDonalds, mom, mothers, music, normal, parenting, predictable, public humiliation, school, school friends, self-consciousness, singing, Tom Bushey, unconventional
April 16, 2008
Just in time for bathing suit season.
Anytime you’re feeling just the tad bit sensitive about how YOU look naked, go back to your bookmarks and FIND THIS PAGE.
Think of the confidence THIS MAN HAS.
Filed under Keith Richards, confidence, humor, life, satire
Tags: confidence, elderly naked men, guitar, humor, Keith Richards, naked, Rolling Stones
Everything you read on this blog is actually true. As in, this is a genuine, non-fiction blog. Generally, I don't name names when the parties concerned are (a) related to me and/or (b) under the age of majority, and therefore no matter how funny they are, unable to give their informed consent to have their hilarious but true commentary on the ridiculousness of life publicized globally. I do, however, skirt the issue of crediting them by admitting it was not ME who came up with their jokes, but "some kid." (Works for most of us.)