Also, Takeshi has a new laptop, and the password to my wireless network, so there’s a strong possibility that he was summoning his Japanese Pokémon Cheat Hack side, too. I didn’t look, so I can’t say for sure. As the Zen parable, “The Farmer’s Luck” goes: “Maybe. Maybe not.”
Posts Tagged as ‘love’
May 21, 2009
Love, Loss and Luck in Gotham City.
Filed under confidence, family, humor, kids, life, love, parenting, pets, relationships, self-image
Tags: ambiance, backyard funeral, basking, Batcave, bleeding body, cat, celebrating, Cheat hack, cherish, chief mourner, comfort, cool people, crime spree, darkness rises, daughters, daylight, devastating charm, digital sweatshop, DJ, Dorothy Parker wit, entertained, Flying Dragon, freshly-wounded hearts, friendship, genus insecta, glory, Gotham City, gratitude, hope, IM, intellectually stimulated, ITunes, Japanese Ninja warrior, laptop, love, MacBook, MacBookPro, magically, moment of silence, mourning, much-beloved, Pokemon, Psycho Cherry, ragged gypsy band, remembrance, resonate, skull-adorned hoodies, suffer private loss, sunshine, thankfulness, the farmer's luck, time, tuning forks, wireless network, Zen Monk, zen parable
December 29, 2008
What’s My Item?
Harm includes: rain, snow, sleet, ice, sunburn, disease, random cartoon safes falling from the sky, hangnails, paper cuts, broken bones, hurt feelings (commenters, beware), and a host of other ills that plague her soul daily.
Filed under family, humor, life, parenting, satire
Tags: affectionate, car underwater, caramelized onions, cartoon safe, coping strategy, daughter, denial, double-pointed steel hammer, Enterprise, Escape Hammer, family, frying pan, gift, Google search, grateful, Grizzly Bear, holidays, humor, immaculate, inspection, Joan Crawford, landlocked, love, mom, Monet, mother, Mythbusters, out of mind, out of sight, perplexed and amused, quintessential, regiment of Marines, rental car, satire, shatter window, thrill, tradition, triplicate, unconventional, wackiness, weird, worry
June 13, 2008
I’m no valedictorian, but…
Don’t let anyone pressure you into the family business, or into one of the official professions. If you majored in finance, but your dream job is rodeo clown, go for it. The only person who actually lives your life is you.
Filed under confidence, humor, life, satire, self-image, work
Tags: administrators, advice, amazing, An Incomplete Education, asleep, attention, ax to grind, believe, blistering sun, book, boring, brain-dead, cliche, college, community college, crowds, daily math, diplomas, Dr. Suess, drinking, education, endless, experience, graduation, happy, hats, high school, history, humor, hungover, ignorant, impatient, individuals, institutions, Judy Jones, life, listening, literary criticism, love, madness, microphone, miserable, mortarboard, obvious, Oh, opinion, original, parents, pass/fail, peanut butter, permission, philosophy, pleasing, podium, pressure, professions, professor, proud, quadratic equation, relentless, satire, speaker, speech, Stevie Nicks, suburbanite, the Places You'll Go, touchdown dance, valedictorian, vaudeville hook, what's your major, William Wilson, work
May 2, 2008
Speaking of naked…
But, like Ninja warriors, it takes years of training and practice to learn how to humiliate others with grace and aplomb. It helps a lot if you have a natural mean streak, or a talent for quick hurtfulness under pressure.
Filed under confidence, humor, life, satire, self-image
Tags: age before beauty, anorexia, awning, bra, cadaver, coffee, confidence, Dorothy Parker, egalitarian, embarrassment, etiquette, extremes, gazebo, humiliation, humor, insults, life, love, naked, Ninja warriors, overweight, panties, pearls before swine, personal appearance, PopTarts, satire, self-image, skeletal, snobbery, starving artist, weight, wind chimes
April 24, 2008
Crime and Punishment. Not.
Listen, though, kiddo. Next time you’re mad at me, be mad at ME. Don’t take it out on innocent Tuck. That’s a bad road to go down, if you know what I mean. I don’t want to have to go back to the shelter and have to find one of those dogs with a spiked collar that will swallow you in one bite, you know.
Filed under confidence, family, humor, life, satire, self-image
Tags: bedtime, children, chores, confidence, consequences, crime, daughters, discipline, dogs, family, forgiveness, guidance, humor, life, love, mothers, parenting, punishment
Everything you read on this blog is actually true. As in, this is a genuine, non-fiction blog. Generally, I don't name names when the parties concerned are (a) related to me and/or (b) under the age of majority, and therefore no matter how funny they are, unable to give their informed consent to have their hilarious but true commentary on the ridiculousness of life publicized globally. I do, however, skirt the issue of crediting them by admitting it was not ME who came up with their jokes, but "some kid." (Works for most of us.)